Sometimes Things Don’t Come Full Circle

So I never intended to take a break.  I definitely didn’t intend to be gone so long.  But I can’t promise I’ll be as regular as I was.  But I intend to try to return, and post once again to this blog.  I could use it.

So a lot has happened in the last several months.  The biggest is that I am now living almost 100% full time as myself.  Work is the final hold out, which has to do with an issue with the store manager and legal names.  I’m probably going to have to go over her head, because the company doesn’t have this hang up, but I fear retribution.  I’m about done waiting though.  This week I need to talk to HR about the issue.

My life has been better in almost every way since I started living openly.  I came out to all of my family, and aside from one major hiccup, they have at least said they wanted me to be happy, even if they don’t understand.  The hiccup though has been my parents and my sister.  My sister stopped talking to me all together.  Now I love my sister, but she’s not a great person.  It hurts to lose her, but I will live.  My parents reaction has been not so concrete and much harder to deal with.  My mother refuses to look at me, or speak to me directly.  She will only speak to me via text messages.  My dad doesn’t lock himself away, but he doesn’t seek to talk to me directly.  This has been this way since I came out, over a month ago.

My ex no longer speaks to me.  It hurt to lose someone so important to me, but inside, I know that she’s got her reasons.  I’ve become much more aware of some of the horrible things I’ve done in my life recently.  I can’t take those things back, but I can respect her need to be left alone, and I will honor that.  I miss her terribly still.  I hope she’s well.

My friends have been awesome, and I made a wonderful trans friend.  She and I are close to each other in timeframe for transition, so we get to go through so much of this together.  She also introduced me to a local trans social group.  I’ve never felt so accepted and welcome before in my life.  And there’s this guy.  He’s funny and cute and I may have a bit of a crush.  I’d just gotten used to the idea of being happy alone, and suddenly I find someone I kinda can’t stop thinking about.  It’s weird.  But I asked him if he wanted to get coffee tonight, and he totally said yes! I’m sooooo excited!  We’re meeting in about an hour, and I cannot wait to see him, and everyone else.

That’s enough of an update for now.  I’ll try to be on here more going foward.  I like having a place to work out what I’m thinking and feeling.   Later my lovelies!

Rachel

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One thought on “Sometimes Things Don’t Come Full Circle

  1. georgiakevin says:

    What a lovely post! I am soo happy for you and soo sorry that your ex doesn’t speak to you any more. Take care of you and write more please.

    Like

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